You Shall Not Commit Adultery

A Shepherd's Voice (Transcript - Episode 6)

February 17, 2025

Let us begin in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Thank you for joining me again for “A Shepherd’s Voice” as we begin the sixth episode. We have been looking at the Ten Commandments, and we are up to the Sixth Commandment, “You shall not commit adultery,” an extremely important commandment of the Lord that we must return to heeding in the world today.

We live in a world where God’s design for human love and marriage is often misunderstood, distorted, or even rejected. Yet, from the very beginning, God created man and woman in His image, calling them to a love that reflects His own – faithful, fruitful, and pure. The Sixth Commandment, “You shall not commit adultery,” is not merely a prohibition - it is a divine call to live in the fullness of love, purity, and commitment.

This commandment upholds the sacredness of marriage and the dignity of the human person. It reminds us that love is not about selfish pleasure but about total self-giving. In a culture that often promotes impurity, temporary relationships, and distorted views of sexuality, Christ calls us to a higher standard – one of chastity, fidelity, and respect for the beauty of God’s plan for human love.

Chastity is a virtue that integrates sexuality with love, self-control, and respect for the person. It applies to all people, whether single, married, or consecrated. And modesty helps protect the dignity of the person and fosters purity (CCC 2521-2523). The Church condemns sins against chastity.

I want to discuss today what this Sixth Commandment truly means, the sins it warns us against, and the virtues it calls us to embrace. Most importantly, we will discuss how we can live chaste and faithful lives – whether married, single, or consecrated – through God’s grace, prayer, and the Sacraments.

I want to start our discussion by talking about adultery, as adultery is the most direct violation of the Sixth Commandment because it breaks the sacred bond of marriage, which is a covenant established by God. The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC 2380) states: “Adultery refers to infidelity. When two partners, of whom at least one is married to another party, have sexual relations – even transient ones – they commit adultery.”

Marriage is meant to reflect the faithfulness of Christ to His Church (Ephesians 5:25-27). Just as Christ is eternally faithful to His Bride, the Church, spouses are called to be faithful to one another. Adultery does not just harm the individuals involved – it wounds families, destroys trust, and brings suffering to spouses and children.

Jesus spoke clearly about adultery, not just in action but even in thoughts: “But I say to you, that whoever shall look on a woman to lust after her, hath already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:28).

This teaches us that purity is not just about external actions but also about the state of our hearts and minds. Adultery begins in our hearts before it ever manifests outwardly. That is why we must guard our thoughts, avoid occasions of sin, and cultivate a heart that desires purity.

I want to state here that Catholics are called to uphold the sanctity of marriage against divorce, cohabitation, contraception, and redefinition of marriage. Families are the foundation of society, and strong, faithful marriages preserve the family.

Regarding contraception, the Catholic Church teaches that contraception violates the Sixth Commandment because it distorts the God-given purpose of human sexuality and marriage. Contraception separates the unitive and procreative aspects of the marital act, contradicting God’s design for love and life.

The marital act has two inseparable purposes: unitive (expressing the deep, faithful, and total self-giving love between spouses), and procreative (being open to life, in accordance with God’s will) (Genesis 1:28). Contraception deliberately frustrates the procreative purpose, making the marital act a self-focused rather than self-giving act. The Church has consistently condemned contraception throughout history. Contraception has led to many social ills such as increased infidelity and moral decline, objectification of women, weakening of marriage and family life, and a mentality that sees children as commodities rather than gifts from God.

For couples who have used contraception, the Church calls them to repentance and openness to God’s plan. The Sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession) offers mercy and healing. Many couples who abandon contraception testify to deeper love, stronger marriages, and greater joy in their family life.

Fornication, sexual relations between unmarried people, is another serious sin against the Sixth Commandment. The Church teaches that sexual intimacy is reserved for marriage, where it finds its proper place as an expression of love and openness to life. St. Paul warns us strongly about this sin: “Know you not that the unjust shall not possess the kingdom of God? Do not err; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers” (I Corinthians 6:9).

The world promotes the idea that as long as two people consent, there is nothing wrong with sexual activity outside of marriage. But God’s love is not based on human opinion – it is based on truth and love. Sex is not just a physical act; it is a spiritual reality that unites two people in a profound way. To misuse this gift outside of marriage is to go against God’s plan for love, commitment, and family.

Both adultery and fornication bring serious consequences: (1) they damage souls, leading to separation from God, (2) they weaken relationships, fostering mistrust and insecurity, and (3) they harm society by breaking down families.

I want to also discuss pornography which is also a grave sin against the Sixth Commandment because it distorts the beauty of human sexuality and reduces the dignity of the person to an object of lust. The Catechism teaches that pornography “offends against chastity because it perverts the conjugal act, the intimate giving of spouses to each other. It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants (actors, vendors, the public)” (CCC 2354). Rather than being an expression of love, it promotes selfish pleasure, addiction, and exploitation.

Beyond spiritual harm, pornography damages relationships, weakens self-control and can lead to the sin of infidelity. It enslaves the mind and distorts real love, making it difficult to form or maintain healthy, pure relationships. However, through prayer, confession, and accountability, those struggling with pornography can break free and rediscover the beauty of authentic love and chastity. Christ calls us not just to avoid sin but to purify our hearts so that we may truly love as He loves (Matthew 5:8).

I want to also discuss same-sex attraction with regard to the Sixth Commandment. Regarding the Church’s teaching on homosexuality the Church makes an important distinction. Persons with same-sex attraction are to be treated with respect, compassion, and sensitivity (CCC 2358). They are loved by God and called to holiness. Homosexual acts, however, are intrinsically disordered because they are contrary to God’s plan for human sexuality (CCC 2357).

Catholic teaching on sexuality is based on natural law and divine revelation, not personal preference or cultural trends. Homosexual acts are sinful because they: (1) go against the natural order of human sexuality which is designed for the union of male and female; (2) lack the procreative purpose that is essential to marital love (Genesis 1:27-28); and (3) do not fulfill the complementarity between man and woman which reflects God’s design (Genesis 2:24).

While modern culture promotes homosexuality as an identity or lifestyle, the Church teaches that sexuality should never define a person’s worth. Instead, all people are called to chastity, self-giving love, and holiness. While the Church upholds the moral teaching that homosexual acts are sinful, it rejects any form of hatred or violence against persons of same-sex attraction (CCC 2358).

For Catholics struggling with same-sex attraction, the Church offers encouragement to live chastely just as all unmarried people are called to do. The Church’s teaching is not about exclusion but about leading all people to the fullness of life in Christ. God calls everyone — regardless of their struggles — to conversion, grace, and true joy in following His Will.

In conclusion, the Sixth Commandment is not just about avoiding specific sins; it is about living a life of purity, respect for God’s plan, and holiness. The Church teaches that all are called to chastity, whether single or married, and that this virtuous life leads to deeper love and true happiness. While we may fall into sin, God’s mercy is always available through the Sacrament of Reconciliation, and His grace helps us to live in accordance with His Will. As we strive to live this commandment, we help build strong families, healthy relationships, and a society that respects the dignity of every person.

Let us commit ourselves to honoring the gift of sexuality, respecting its true purpose, and supporting each other on the path to holiness.

I wanted to read those paragraphs that I had prepared and share those very important elements of the Church’s teaching on human sexuality. I want to now take a little time to simply reflect with you on how essential this is and how distorted our world is in so many facets, as it ignores that this is a commandment of God. The commandment against adultery is the root of so many of the issues that we face in the world today – forgetting who we are and forgetting that God is our Creator, and He has designed us for our ultimate fulfillment. I believe that this Sixth Commandment is one of the most necessary for us to focus on.

It is interesting to me that, as we have gone through these first six commandments now, as I have mentioned before, each one I find to be extremely important and extremely difficult to live up to at times, and leading, if we violate them, to truly grave sins. In the world today, and sadly even from leaders in the Church, we have heard messages that contradict the idea of how significant the Sixth Commandment is. Many times, in my 66 years, I have heard people say, “Oh the Catholic Church is too focused on sexual sins; it is preoccupied; it spends too much time worrying about those sins.” But I believe if we look more deeply and prayerfully at what our sexuality is about, it really reminds us of being created in the image and likeness of God.

If we think about God’s plan, it is first expressed in Genesis. We are reminded, and really the Sixth Commandment echoes this reality, of the wondrous gift that we have of being created in the image and likeness of God, of participating in Godly acts, because we can choose to cooperate with God. Certainly, none of us are divine, and they are all ultimately in God’s power, but when we cooperate, what a wondrous gift that is.

And I encourage those who are living the sacrament of marriage, the sacrament of matrimony, to really prayerfully reflect on what their marital intimacy, their sexual lives as married people, what that is all about. It really is a beautiful way of living the reality that all of us are created in the image and likeness of God. Procreation is what is the result at times of a man and a woman coming together in sexual intercourse. Another human being, another person is conceived. What a responsibility, and what a wondrous gift!

At one point in my time as bishop of Tyler, I wrote an article talking about the devastation that comes from an unchaste life, and the glorious fulfillment that comes from living a chaste life. Very often, I think we tend to think of chastity as something that is only for single people or not related to marriage. But really chastity is that measured approach to our desires, to our drives, to all that we do. Certainly, it is mostly focused on our sexual reality – that we are created male and female. And thankfully, at least the secular world, in this nation and in other places, seems to be reawakening to that basic truth, which really is embedded in why the Sixth Commandment, “Thy shall not commit adultery,” is so important because when that intimacy, the proper intimacy between a man and a woman is outside the bond of marriage, it is volatile, destructive and powerfully devastating for our world and for our lives.

We need to really prayerfully understand, study, and reflect on what the Church really teaches about our sexuality. Very often, we are as Catholics accused of simply saying “No” to the gift of our sexuality – “No you can’t do that,” and “No you can’t do this,” and “No you may not,” and certainly there are important basic foundational elements of understanding the wondrous gift of our sexual nature. God has made us male and female, a complimentary division of the human race, between male and female that helps us to recognize how we are fulfilled.

We need to pray for married couples to truly live what their marriage is – not simply to survive it. I have never been married of course, but I have talked to a lot of married couples, and I have never heard a couple say that it was easy to live the commitment of marriage. Some struggle desperately, and very often fail, as all of us fail in sinfulness in one form or another. Very often married couples fail to really richly and beautifully live the vows that they have made at their marriage. So I think we need to pray for marriages, be compassionate towards them, and urge a return to recognizing that what God has joined together can never be put asunder.

The prevalence of divorce is, I believe, if we really prayerfully study what has happened in our world over the past many decades, divorce is one sign of the reality that we are not paying attention to all the ramifications of the Sixth Commandment. We are made to joyfully embrace the life of God, to be His children, to rejoice in the opportunities that life offers us. Yes, Christ calls us to take up our cross, and we must do so to truly live in Him. But the burdens that we carry are meant to bring us to the fullness of joy. Christ tells us that Himself. He came to us that our joy may be full. And I believe that it is God’s plan, and I believe that it corresponds with everything that is beautiful about the Catholic Church’s teaching, and it truly is beautiful. Yes, it is demanding, and yes, it is difficult to live up to, but we need to, all of us, especially all of us as committed Catholics, to not see the demands of the Church and the demands of the Sixth Commandment as something that is strictly a burden – yes it is burdensome and yes it is difficult – and all of us fail in one way or another in the area of chastity, but it also bears fruit that is beautiful and glorious – to remember who we are as men and women, to rejoice in those differences, and to seek the complementarity that is so necessary.

As I have already mentioned in the previous paragraphs that I read for this podcast, there are many elements of the Sixth Commandment that we must consider. Any violation of our sexuality is devastating for our lives, for our human society, for the Church in every aspect. We have to treat it as seriously as it is – not fearfully – always knowing that God’s mercy is there. But we need to set a high standard for ourselves and be joyfully committed to doing our best to live up to that high standard.

We might claim rightfully that the world we live in bombards us with sexual images. If we understand advertisers, we know that they specifically make efforts to sell things using the attractiveness of our sexual nature. We have all probably heard, “sex sells,” and it does. In subtle ways, it invades our hearts and our minds, and it makes things attractive in a way that really has nothing to do with the gift that is our sexual nature. I think it is important to emphasize that it is a gift, but like all gifts, and the basic moral code that we are called to live when you are given a gift or a blessing, or an advantage of any kind, it carries with it a responsibility, a duty, a seriousness, and that is especially true for the gift of our sexuality.

Let us not allow the culture that exists now and even voices within our beautiful Catholic faith, let us not allow those voices to turn us from the challenge and the joy of living what the Sixth Commandment is all about. As I have already mentioned, each of the commandments (and we have discussed the first six now), they are full of many facets of what it means to live our life in God.

We can say that the Ten Commandments, the Decalogue, are the foundation of living our lives as Godly people, of living what it means to be in a relationship with God, ultimately as His children, to live with God in eternity in heaven. The Ten Commandments lay down basic laws that radiate out into every aspect of our lives. The Sixth Commandment is critically important in our world today because too many ignore God, ignore our nature created by God in His image and likeness, ignore the reality that it is by God’s design that we are male and female, and we must live celebrating that, not worrying about some superficial denominators that say – “This is what males do,” “This is what females do” – but recognizing that there is an ontological deeply embedded in our existence, a reality of what it means to be male and female. Even scientifically we understand that our DNA which comes together at our conception, at that time we are formed with DNA of a male or a female.

Certainly, and sometimes people will argue, there are times when that goes awry, and as with every element of creation, God’s plan at times does not unfold according to God’s will for various reasons. We live in a world of concupiscence; we live in a broken world where sin dominates too often. And yes at times there are confused realities that people have to deal with regarding their sexuality. But thankfully that is not the norm. Most children are born clearly male and female because they are conceived that way in the womb, as a male person and a female person. That hopefully calls us to even greater compassion for those who may on occasion have issues of differences from that norm of being male and female by their physical makeup and by their DNA. Hopefully, we can be more compassionate.

And to those who become confused about who they are, true compassion towards them is always to guide them to how God made them. Very often we will hear people say, “Well this is how God made me,” and truly God has made us, but we need to discover what truly is our God-given reality, and what may have been distorted by forces in society and in our lives. We all live in very imperfect families, and in a community that is imperfect, and so we can get on the wrong path.

Finally, the Sixth Commandment must be held as something to be sacredly held and understood and lived as fully as possible. And remembering, whatever the sin, whatever the type of sin against the Sixth Commandment, our Lord and God is merciful. His Son Jesus Christ offers us forgiveness. Mercy flows from the very side of His body. As He dies on the Cross, blood and water flow forth. It is a sign of that mercy that is always ready to flow when we fail in sinfulness.

So I urge all of us, whatever our age, whatever our place in life, married or single or celibate and committed in consecrated life, wherever we find ourselves, let us do our best to live chastely according to God’s plan. That is what is at the root of the Sixth Commandment, and to know that when we fail, God never turns His back on us, He never abandons us, but He calls us to learn from our mistakes and to continue to grow in His grace and love. Let us be leaders in the world, and leaders in our families, embracing what God has told us, and knowing the truth that God has revealed to us, rejoicing in that truth, and doing our best to live it abundantly and vibrantly.

Let me conclude our reflection today in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Your Shepherd,

Bishop Joseph E. Strickland

Bishop Emeritus